A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
