All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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