he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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