Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm sobbing to NWA
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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