i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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