Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
