Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
