Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
