would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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