I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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