been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
