he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
