To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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