planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
