they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
