i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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