arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
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