Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
