Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
