So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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