Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
