i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
