When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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