I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
