What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
