Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
