I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
