Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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