i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
