dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
