Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
