Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
