if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
