I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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