I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
