We named our party play list daddy issues
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
