I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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