I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
