batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
