Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
