I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
and she was petting her beer can
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
