i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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