I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
