I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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