we're blogging at a bar
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
i need some magic done to my vagina
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
