drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
