You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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