HIV tests are more positive than that guy
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Well I just put wine in my tea
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
