When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
