Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
