Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Randomize
